Don’t panic, but the world is running out of condoms because of coronavirus.
f you’re planning to spend the next few weeks getting freaky in the sheets with your self-isolation buddy or taking advantage of the many opportunities to have lunchtime sex, we’ve got bad news.
Coronavirus has already caused tens of thousands of businesses to close their doors, and now, the virus is coming after the condom factories.
That’s right, first no loo roll or pasta, and now no sex (unless you have access to other birth control measures, that is).
For the past week, the world’s biggest condom manufacturer, Karex Bhd in Malaysia – which makes one of every five condoms used across the globe – has been forced to close up shop.
Not a single condom has been produced by the company’s three factories.
With COVID-19 spreading at a rapid rate, and Malaysia suffering the worst in southeast Asia with 2,161 infections and 26 deaths so far, the government has, similarly to the UK, decided to impose a lockdown.
‘But surely there are already condoms in circulation’, we hear you say.
While you might be able to find a packet of prophylactics in your local pharmacy or supermarket now, there’s a chance this will soon change as there’s already a shortfall of 100 million condoms in the world, which would normally go to private companies as well as the NHS.
But don’t start crying just yet – there’s a solution on the horizon.
Karex Bhd has been given permission by authorities to once again produce condoms as of this Friday, but at a smaller scale with half of its usual workforce.
Even though this is a positive move, there will still be less condoms available – and not just to individuals but many of these are usually supplied to ‘humanitarian programmes’ which could be affected for many months to come.
‘It will take time to jumpstart factories and we will struggle to keep up with demand at half capacity,’ chief executive Goh Miah Kiat told Reuters.
‘We are going to see a global shortage of condoms everywhere, which is going to be scary.
‘My concern is that for a lot of humanitarian programmes deep down in Africa, the shortage will not just be two weeks or a month. That shortage can run into months.’
The lockdown will last until 14 April, but may well be extended if the coronavirus situation escalates in the country.
To make matters worse, China is also a major producer of condoms – and closed its factories while the country dealt with the spread – and India and Thailand could be next.
Goh said: ‘The good thing is that the demand for condoms is still very strong because like it or not, it’s still an essential to have.
‘Given that at this point in time people are probably not planning to have children. It’s not the time, with so much uncertainty.’
It definitely puts a dent in that sexy self-isolation fun people had planned.
Well, there’s always mutual masturbation, right?
Or just consider the next few months the longest teasing opportunity of your life(gnashing season).